Zach is the main character of the story, a roughly amoral malcontent/picaresque whose only reliable trait is a smattering of greed, lukewarm cowardice, and a distinct pliability when it comes to bribes and especially Eggs Benedict, his favourite food.
His only, and possibly best friends are Oz, an insecure white middle class scruffball whose only loves in life are mean girls and his busted up Oldsmobile, and Zoey, a Nancy Drew-class teen detective, looking to solve her 23rd and final case before she graduates and becomes a cultural studies major. Cade and Grady are both senior high school monitors, dedicated to the heady aroma of power and duty. Sydney Dillon is the worst boy in the world, an effortless manipulator and medication addict with a flair for no-holds barred sociopathy, also the villian of the story.
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